Ho diddly hum, what to write, what to write?
Well, here's the thing - teapots. Why do teapots drip? And who designs them - are they incompetent or just plain nasty? Is it a deliberate and malicious attempt to scald the consumer with boiling hot tea? Or are they just numpties who are unable to comprehend the complexities of teapot design?
Or (my v. fave theory, this one), is there an evil pixie working in a teapot factory somewhere, plotting and scheming to maim human-kind with teapot sabotage, as some kind of revenge against offences to pixie-kind?
Let's face it, they don't get a great press - no-one lauds the fabulousness of pixies.... I mean, fairies get all the cute kid's stories and fairytales (that must piss all the magical beings off: "Ooooh, well, look at that - fairies have a whole literary genre to themselves... la di fecking da. Get you!!").
Plus, the fairies get Disneyfication and all it's merchandising glory, even down to fairy cakes and washing up liquid, and at some point in their lives all little girls want to be fairy princesses. I've never met a kid who aspires to be a troll or a pixie, for example. That must be a real slap in the face for all the others.... Pre-Shrek ogres must have been really despairing at the tainting of their name. And Dwarves? They get a pretty crap deal - they get some hot girl coming to live at their house (uninvited, I might add)... and she not only pops it without finishing her chores, but then buggers off with some foppish prince after he snogs her. Which, bearing in mind she's dead at this point, begs the question....necrophilia? Not the best choice of husband, love. And the 7 hospitable fellas that had let her live in their house rent-free don't even get so much of a "Ta, cheerio...see ya later". Ungrateful wench.
So, what do pixies get? An association in name with a band (well, that IS actually quite cool), and that's about it, really. There must be some jealousy there. I can imagine that pixies might just want to get some revenge on human-kind for carelessly tossing them aside and favouring fairies. Considering the sheer volume of teapots produced, and the fact that there are oodles of factories on a global scale, it's feasible that pixies have infiltrated society and are living undercover in communities around the world.
Think about it.
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5 comments:
I always wondered about this!
Do yu think they have the same effect on kettles perchance?
C
I think they do it deliberately. They must all hate the job!
Good question. Maybe because they are always drunk... (small pun not intended) Or maybe they are all of the male gender... blush blush. :-) Love the blog.
It's my personal opinion that the pixie community is indeed deliberately sabotaging international teapot production.
Quite frankly, it's shocking that we, as an international community, continue to allow this to happen.
I also believe that kettles are indeed being threatened by this malicious behaviour.
I'm not happy. All I want is a decent cup of tea, dammit.
I would like to point out that as a member of the Pixie group in Brownies I had nothing to do with this conspiracy....however I was only second in command you would have to ask Fiona G as she was part of the upper echelons and may have been privy to the ongoings
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