Multi-personalities (from the archives of an old blog I found from 2007)

After a long and ardous evening in the company of several TEFL teachers (to which some, the title 'teacher' can be loosely applied) I came to realise that I was in fact experiencing deja-vue.

You see, almost every 'character' (of which there are many) appeared to be remarkably similar to someone else I had met before.

I began to slowly realise that after seven years of working in various foreign countries there was a set of unique characters that appeared in each social group of travellers. And these characters seemed to exist in the exact same proportion to another social group. So, for every entertainer in each social group I've encountered there has been an equal amount of solid-types... and so on. And here they are:

(I won't mention names, but if you've met me in the course of working/travel abroad, then you can always try and guess your character. I think it is safe to assume that if I still speak to you, then you're definately one of the more pleasant ones. Myself, on the other hand, well - I'm definately something nasty, don't you think?)

First up - the entertainer. The life and soul of a party. Bright, sparkly and charming, yet beset by personal issues and insecurities that often surface after a few drinks. You want to hate them, but you can't. They're too much fun. They alternate between being your best mate and barely recognising you in the street.

Next - the dour git. Alternates between sour and unapproachable and just unapproachable. When asked 'How are you?' the reply ranges from a grunt to a 'Don't ask'. You question why they bother even getting up in the morning. Nothing in their adopted country could possibly be as good as their home country. Which makes you wonder why they left at all.

Then, there's the know-all. Rarely does the know-all actually know that much. But, posessed with a cockiness and un-bruisable ego they thrill at intimidating the 'greener' members of a group. Their opinions are not to be discussed. You are just expected to believe them in wide-eyed reverence for their superior knowledge. They would make good Scientologists. Or politicians.

Next up - the gabberwocky. Nonsensical and overly-enthusiastic - the gabberwocky thrills at having an audience with which to talk at. Conversation is a non-starter, as is communication, as it is invariably drunken gobbledygook. You might as well become a plant. You'd benefit more from being spoken 'at' that way. Their opinion (like the know-alls) is right. If you differ, then you are most certainly WRONG. Problems naturally occur when gabberwockies and know-alls clash. It's a fabulous sight to behold. The clash of the titans. Egotisical bollocks versus unfailingly stupid bollocks. A delight.

On to the next - our solid-type. An all-round good egg. There's always one person whose general niceness restores faith in humanity. The kind of person politicians should be made of, but aren't. There isn't much to say about the solid-type - they are just, well, solid. And, even if they never make your best-friend list, they are always thought of fondly.

Up next - the joker. Not so much an entertainer, more of a wit. The joker entertains by stealth, as they inadvertantly create mirth in an otherwise staid and dull environment. Their presence is invariably positive, as it is never created or forced. It just 'is'.

And so, on to the social butterfly. A peripheral member of a social group - the social butterfly picks and chooses friends of the week/day but never really forms close friendships. Less of an outsider, and more of a non-sider. Arguments usually become resolved by the social butterfly, because their lack of closeness to one or another person allows for a degree of objectivity.

Next - the lad/ladette. Out for fun, and little else. The lad/ette initialy appears to be vacuous and pointless. But their constant search for fun and entertainment can revive the older group members into doing new stuff, rather than staying in their comfort zones. Like a puppy - the lad/ette eventually grows up. In doing so, they evolve into entertainers and jokers. Alternatively, they return home to recount their tales of adventure to the lads and lasses down the local, and never venture further than Ayia Napa on the predictable lad's binge-fest holiday thereafter.

And thus we move to the opposite of lad/ette - the sage. A walking encyclopedia - they offer wise words and advice to all (even those who don't want it). Like the sages of old fairytales - this person is the source of all knowledge - or is constantly searching for more to enhance their minds. Life is one long and fascinating journey for the sage.

And so we find the strange spawn of the sage and the lad/ette - the fruitcake. Ranging from delightfully eccentric to completely bonkers - the fruitcake is sweet and soul-searching, yet tempestuous and hedonistic. A true odd-ball, who will never feel at home anywhere - but still manages to make the most of their adopted 'home'. You hope that they may find security and contentedness somewhere - but you know deep down that they probably don't even want that.

And finally we find - the mummy/daddy. Caring and nurturing is many ways - but sometimes to the point of smothering. A mummy/daddy is the one to whom decisions are often unconciously deferred. Their control can be comforting for the floundering new soul in a sea of foreigness, but it becomes constricting and frustrating eventually. Nevertheless, kindness is a speciality...and they can be wise, to a degree. But common sense is more practical than the search for enlightenment (in their eyes).

The question is - which one are you?