Leaving Sin Vegas 5

Essential Driving Guide to Taiwan:

Indicators? "Pah! Who could possibly need to know where I intend to go next with my erratic driving? Weaving all over the road and cutting corners if far more practicable."

Driving on the correct side of the road? "Only if you must insist, Mr. Police Officer, sir."

Driving below the legal blood alcohol level? "Pfft! That's for wusses who can't take their drink.... (*CRASH*)."

Looking in one's mirror before turning? "Go on... surprise me. I prefer to live life on the edge...."

Opening doors into oncoming traffic? "Why the hell not? And if I so choose, I will also step into the road and look mildly surprised when you are forced to swerve furiously to avoid me."

Parking in a safe and secure place? "Why would I want to do that, when I can park on a blind corner closer to the shops? Then I don't have to walk anywhere. Not that I do anyway - I drive to the local 7Eleven."

Obeying red stop lights? "Ahhh, I'm colour blind, Officer." or, "Oh, that's what they are for... "

Showing due care and consideration to other road users? "Who? Oh for goodness sake, don't they know I'm the most important person on this damn road?"

Driving motorcycles with an appropriate number of passengers? "We're a circus troupe. We do human pyramids."

Driving at an appropriate and safe speed for the conditions? "If I drive faster in a typhoon there's less chance of anything hitting me."