Light up my life

Lanterns. Lights. Whatever you want to call them. They do work extremely well at night. They look pretty. You can't fail to appreciate them - it's a given. Like puppies, fireworks and babies - pretty lights get universal "ooohs and aaahs"... people like them. Fact.

So, anyway, not far from where I live there is a town celebrating a Lantern Festival, and I thought I'd pop down to have a wee look (y'know, to get some proper Taiwanese culture and all that jazz). I enlisted the presence of a friend and she invited another friend and we all arranged to meet at aforementioned little town at 6pm.

All fine and dandy, me-thoughts. But no. The Gods of Timely Organisation and Fortune were not smiling upon me (that, and the fact I had TOTALLY forgotten it was a national holiday). As a result, the train station was thronging with people, all determined to squeeeeeeze themselves into ridiculously small spaces (and trains). It suddenly dawned on me that everyone in Taiwan had had exactly the same thought as me, at exactly the same time. How's that for a coincidence, eh?

Over an hour later, having joined the sweaty masses and squeezed myself into an unfeasibly small space on a hideously delayed train (whilst swearing loudly, and giving foreigners a bad name), I alighted to find a nondescript hamlet. So nondescript, in fact, that trains didn't usually stop there. So utterly devoid of significance ordinarily that there wasn't even a station - just a track and two rather woebegone platforms. I must have been in the right place, I reasoned, because the masses from the train were not only following me, but also increasing in size. That, or I was the new Pied Piper.

I was totally unprepared for the festival. I have to tell you. I was wearing heels (on uneven ground; an ankle-breaker if ever there was one) and I had assumed that Taiwan couldn't possibly host anything of a significant size. Taiwan, I should add, is not noted for its ability to host impressive events. It is noted, however, for it's ability to manufacture cheap plastic toys. Less cheap than China, but still cheap nonetheless (but with fewer carcinogenic chemicals, I assume).

Oh, how wrong I was. It was MASSIVE. Fields upon fields of lanterns. All of them glowing beacons of Taiwanese culture. Oh, and the obligatory advertising - Hello Kitty/EVA Airways, Shipping Companies, Farms..... all in lantern form. Most of them even managed to be quite tasteful. In the centre a giant glowing mouse (2008 is the Chinese Year of the Mouse, see) played a cheesy song intermittently, and advertised the national telephone company. Fireworks went off at intervals and accompanied a terrible (but strangely memorable) theme tune..."Illa Formosa...Taiwan will touch your heart..." .

It was spectacular, nay, it was spectacular, and tacky, and wonderful, and awe-inspiring, and a blatant display of consumerism combined with a celebration of tradition, all in one gloriously-lit field.

If nothing else, the religious lantern section was the most perfect example of the grandeur of the event. At the centre there was a giant globe, embraced by two hands, and surrounded by Buddhist prayer wheels. It was almost serene. Then, in one corner a giant shining Jesus stood in the crucifix position and slowly rotated. In another corner a rather terrifying Taiwanese God glowed red, then green, then yellow, then purple....

But perhaps the most bizarre sight was the tent in the far corner - surrounded by onlookers watching an impressive dance show. At first it looked like a commercial tent - no Taiwanese Gods, no Jesus, no neon-lit temples. Just dancers and some small lanterns, and a big white tent. Rather dull, except for the overbearing and ominous images of a blonde-haired Chinese woman, that were stretched on to large billboards around the tent. Odd, for one, as the women in Taiwan dye their hair a variety of colours, but never platinum blonde.... and this WAS most surely platinum blonde. I was baffled at the strange coldness of her appearance, but I was even more so by the name on the billboards - Supreme Master TV.com. I reasoned that this must be an advertising gimmick for a shopping channel or something equally consumer related... However, my friend pointed out that this was indeed a religion, although it appears to be more of a cult.

A disturbing thought, indeed. For one, I'm disturbed by the fact the woman had such distinctively platinum blonde hair - surely she hadn't being taking styling tips from Neo-Nazis and Aryan race enthusiasts? Surely not? But the words 'Supreme Master' equally concerned me, for, as long as each religion continues to assert that they are the 'one true religion', then there's always going to be trouble. But, to state that you are 'the Supreme Master'? Well, that's a very special sort of ego that requires that kind of thinking. And quite frankly, it's that kind of ego that gets people in to all sorts of bad situations.

Worried? You betcha.

I went home a little more in awe of the art-work involved with lanterns, and a little less blase about domineering cults.