Wedding Season

Yup, it's time to get the heels out, slap on the trolley dolly make-up and iron that best frock. Wedding season is upon us, and statistics show that they're great places to find your future betrothed. I guess that combination of alcohol, a romantic atmosphere, and the pressure from well-meaning relatives constantly reminding you that you are still single has a pretty potent effect.

Whatever the reasons, I personally think that statisticians live in a parallel universe from me, and that statistics are a bunch of lies fluffed up by lots of numbers. I have been to two weddings in a fortnight and haven't been blessed with even a mere whiff of romance. On the other hand, as they were Taiwanese weddings, romance is pretty low on the register for the guests - they go for the food. And more food. A little wine. And some more food. Oh, and when the wedding's finished they stuff the left-over food in bags, half-inch the unfinished liquor and wine bottles and scarper. In all fairness, the guests DO pay for the privilege, with little red lucky envelopes stuffed with money in even numbers for maximum luck. And the food is a massive multi-course meal of the chef's finest creations - the culinary versions of ostentatious. The irony being that the more of a delicacy something is here, the less appetizing it actually appears to be.

Admittedly, that could just be me - I am a self-confessed extremely fussy eater - so the prospect of seahorse soup really makes me queasy. Others tucked into it with gusto - omitting to tell one of the foreign guests that they shouldn't actually eat the seahorse. Oh, how we laughed as his face turned from anticipation to horror as he realised that just because something is a delicacy, it doesn't mean it is delicious. The same applied to the lobster served with sweet mayonnaise and hundreds-n'-thousands (you know, the candy you sprinkle on ice-cream?) and the shark's fin soup. Not only is shark's fin utterly tasteless itself, the soup doesn't even smell that appetizing. I will concede that I didn't actually try the soup - mainly because the presence of random bits of cartilage doesn't make my mouth water. But I think it can be universally agreed that it's just not that great.

Certainly, I can't imagine why such things are worth the money they're reported to command in upscale restaurants. I mean, if something should be valued on it's popularity, aroma, taste and the satisfaction one gets from eating it, then I vote pizza to be re-classified as a delicacy. On the other hand, if it does, that means restaurants can start charging ridiculously high prices for a mere slice, and cheap pizza will be no more. OK, rethink - keep the seahorse soup and shark's fins - I'd rather have some scrumptious pizza.